Ronny Donald's

On Saturdays, around this joint, we like to treat ourselves to what we call "Saturday Day Special." SDS means we all bicker decide what fast food place we want to clog our arteries with for that week.

We have two children, so the most prized fast food is that of the McD's. I'm ok with most of their food, although the things I like most are the priciest. So, I usually just end up with a cheeseburger kids meal and I give the toy to Sissy.

This past weekend, The Evil Twin went to the devil's lair and came home with our lunch. Sissy had a chicken nugget kids meal and I had the usual cheeseburger meal.

When Sissy opened her box, she said, "These fries are tiny." Oh, brother. I had heard about this in the news before, but didn't know when it would happen.

They decided, in the face of burgeoning childhood obesity rates, to cut down the size of the fries serving and also add in a thing of apples (with no caramel sauce!!!). That's nice, but maybe I want more than 12 fries in an itty bitty Barbie sized box.

While I understand the concern, and some parents would feed their children fast food 24/7, I'd like the choice of fries or apples again. We ordered the apple dippers probably 50/50 against the fries.

Like my own childhood self, both children are bean poles. Well, Sissy is a little more on the stocky side, but she takes after the Evil Twin's side of the family. Can't do much about genetics.... :-) (and, Yes, I am saying the Evil Twin comes from a sturdy lot).

So, if your children dig the fries, you might want to get an extra order of them. Whatever, I love those crunchy apples, too, so it's a win-win for me.

Love,

The Piss Poor Tooth Fairy

Right before her bedtime last night, Sissy agreed to let me numb her gums and let Daddy try to pull this raggedy old tooth that had been hanging by a thread for several weeks now.

This is the first tooth she has lost and she was very excited about a visit from the Tooth Fairy.

I wrapped it up in tissue paper, then put it in a little baggie so it wouldn't get lost under her pillow.

The Evil Twin has been working from home in the evenings lately and stays up pretty late. I left him in charge of the Tooth Fairying and went on to bed.

When I woke up this morning, I wondered if he had completed his mission. He FORGOT! Oh, it's only her first lost tooth and all...

She was still in bed, so he went in and of course she woke up as he was rifling around under her pillow. He said, "I just came in to check if the Tooth Fairy came to get your tooth." While he was saying that, he slipped the tooth into his robe pocket with one hand and slid the dollar under with the other hand.

She said, "There's money under here!" A whole dollar - let me tell you something - getting visits from the Tooth Fairy is not a "get rich quick" scheme around here.

She had to come and show me immediately. She was beaming.

So, even though the Evil Twin completely botched his job, he had a Hail Mary save with a little "slight of hand".

All's well that ends well, I suppose!

Her other tooth beside the first lost one is also getting pretty wiggly, so maybe the Evil Twin will remember that buck from now on! :-)

Love,

Some Days Are Tough...

But, I enjoy being a mom. When Buddy and Sissy are in school, it's both relaxing and challenging.

This is Buddy's last year of Middle School. He'll be moving on to the High School next Fall. Sissy will still be at the grade school, but in first grade. Kindergarten is typically not that demanding, but she still has homework.

I think next year will be a lot more demanding for both of them. I'm g. Ilad to say that neither of them are slackers and I had their IQs tested recently. Let's just say that I will NOT take the test myself because I'm sure my score would be much lower than either of theirs.

Anyhoot, when they're in school, I'm free to flit about the house - laundry, dishes, whatever I slacked on over the weekend AND I can shamelessly make up lyrics to existing songs to entertain both myself and the cat. I'm sure I enjoy it more than Bella, but it makes my day more interesting.

If it's just me here, the TV is never on. The only sounds I hear are the fridge making ice and Apple and Lovey (the parakeets) singing or arguing with each other. It's a very Zen existence.

Don't get me wrong - there is always something to do around here. But, it makes my heart all happy knowing that I can get around to it "eventually."

Speaking of "doing", I have several things to do before I pick Sissy up from school. I hope my hooligans have a great day and an even better weekend!

Love,

Long Week

Well, the Evil Twin is back at work today. He took his pain meds with him in case he has another "episode". He will see our primary care physician next week to get an ultrasound of the kidney in question.

Lucky me, I get to see our primary care physician today for a follow up appointment.

I thought things were bad when Buddy was just a wee baby. He came home from the NICU weighing 3lbs, 12oz. He was almost 7 weeks old at that time. He had at least 2, if not 3, doctor/therapy appointments a week.

It was at this time I started with my anxiety issues. We lived in a different county - a little farther out than this county and all the appointments were in THIS county, so I'd have to get on the interstate and drive a while. (I-64 is also known as "If you make it to your destination alive, you're a lucky SOB".)

I would get so worked up about having my tiny baby in the car on the interstate I consider a death trap, I just lost it one day. Anti-anxiety meds to the rescue - and to this very day - almost 14 years later.

So, today, I get to see the doc, find out how high my blood pressure is (from driving on wet roads) and lord knows what else. I'm so tired, I think I could sleep for a day or two.

If I'm getting a shower today before my appointment, I have to sign off here. I hope all my hooligans have a good Thursday (It's not FRIDAY, yet???).

Love,

A Weekend Wild Ride

Buddy's birthday was Saturday. He had chosen Quaker Steak n Lube as his birthday meal destination.

He decided on the Steak and loaded fries, as opposed to the 6lb. Burger challenge. My rail thin child cleaned his plate (as usual).

As soon as we walked in, I let everyone know it was his birthday. The Evil Twin questioned my sanity...I even showed my newest tattoo (with the kids' birthdays and initials - I mean, who would fake a permanent mark like that?) I told the Evil Twin, "If it's your birthday, at many restaurants, you get something special FOR FREE." It was worth the effort for me.

Buddy was presented with a warm hot fudge covered brownie with ice cream at the end of the meal. He said it was amazing, but couldn't finish it (??? WTF That kid has a hollow leg), so he shared it with Sissy.

Everyone enjoyed the food. ETW even had a ginormous and tasty margarita! Yum!

On Sunday, we woke up and the Evil Twin was in a foul mood (not surprising, that's his normal MO for any day). He decided around noonish it was shower time. I heard the water come on, then I heard the water go off and also heard an anguished scream from the bathroom.

I thought maybe he slipped, so I went back to check on him and saw him limping across the hall to our bedroom. He was holding his back on the right side and could not stand upright. I was able to coerce him to flop up onto the bed where I could dress him and then called 911.

They took him to the ER where the docs suspected a kidney stone, but couldn't find anything other than a mass on the right kidney. They weren't sure if it was solid or fluid filled, but did say it wasn't "suspicious" looking.

I spent hours on the phone with the ER, and his family. I know that most hospitals don't allow anyone under 14 further than the lobby, so I just waited to hear from him.

They had given him some pain relief med in his IV and sent him out the door several hours later with 4 prescriptions. He feels somewhat better - still a bit sore, but the ER doctor told him to stay home for at least 3 days. He'll need to see our regular doc for an ultrasound of the kidney and then it will be determined if it needs to be drained, biopsied or surgically removed.

I already have plans for every day this week, so it should be interesting, to say the least.

I have a metric boatload of work for just today, so I'm going to blow this popsicle stand.

Hope all my hooligans have a great Tuesday!

Love,

I Kinda Knew

14 years ago, I woke up this morning - at 28 weeks pregnant - and felt that something just wasn't quite right. I tried to shrug it off.

The Evil Twin and I got ready for work and stopped by my parents' house for breakfast. My mom noticed I was unusually reserved. I'm shy by nature, but if I've known you long enough and feel comfortable, I can be quite genial.

There are other times I am quiet because that's my mood. And, there are times I am quiet because I am preoccupied by something weighing on my mind.

January 21, 1998 I was quiet because I felt "off."

We had so many problems getting pregnant, losing several along the way and then once we knew we had a keeper, I had too much amniotic fluid. I was monitored closely.

At 18 weeks, the results from my AFP (alpha fetal protein) test came back high for neural tube defects (spina bifida, anencephaly, etc.) Some of these birth defects are not compatible with life, so we were terrified. How could I get to 18 weeks - clearly showing a massive baby bump - and the baby might not live after delivery? Why was this happening?

The next morning, we went to a Level 2 ultrasound. The baby had all necessary parts and nothing was amiss. We also found out we'd be having a boy!

We had no clue he'd be born 10 weeks later, at only 28 weeks. He was 2lbs, 5oz. He was not delivered (by emergency c-section) with a cry or even a good color. He received an APGAR score of ONE. A zero is for the stillborn babies.

The Evil Twin witnessed the whole ordeal, since it was such an emergency, there was no time to place a drape in front of me.

I can't even remember how many people were in the room, but he was pulled out - someone shouted "It's a boy!" I said weakly, "I know."

I didn't see him or anything for hours after that. (We couldn't hold him for nine long days while he was on the vent). He was rushed to NICU, put on a ventilator and attached to more tubes and wires I've ever seen on a person that size. Heck, I had never even seen a person that size.

Ironically, he was born on the anniversary of Roe v. Wade. Many states allow abortions even at 28 weeks (or later). And, there my son was, fighting for life. So very much wanted.

He was about 4 days old in this picture and that is me, changing his itty bitty diaper.

For being born so early and so sick, the only trauma he really experienced from his early arrival was developing ROP (retinopathy of prematurity), which is a very common eye condition with the preemies. He has worn glasses since he was 18 mos. old. He had laser eye surgery in early April - before his due date, even - at 4lbs, 4oz.

It was a tough year for all of us, but I thank God every day he is healthy, has a great sense of humor and really makes my life interesting!

Have a great Saturday, hooligans!

Love,



PS. I keep this poem close to me at all times. I post it every year, so I figure it's a tradition at this point:

Jefferey's Poem
By Garrison Keillor

When I first saw you, kid, you were tiny and thin,
And slimy and red and your head was mushed in,
I says to your mother, "He looks kind of sloppy,
And two pounds four ounces ain't big for a crappie."

But something about you, the look in your eyes,
Said you fully intended to grow to full size,
They slapped your backside and you let out a cry,
And I said, "We will keep him, at least we shall try."

Some babies are born in nine months, by the clock,
Some babies are born, and they sit up and talk,
Some babies are born, and no doctor is there.
Some babies are born, on a wing and a prayer.

Poor little fetus, as big as your hand,
Poor little fish thrown up on dry land,
Who came in April, though he had till July,
Too small to live and too precious to die.

They shipped you downstairs to the big Neonatal
Intensive Care Unit's computerized cradle
And attached you to wires and stuck you with tubes
Monitored closely by digital cubes.

And thanks to the latest neonatal therapeusis
And regular basting with greases from gooses
And hot chicken soup intravenously fed
You did not fade away, you grew up instead.

We'll always remember those months that you spent
With tubes in your head in the oxygen tent
And the mask on your face with the wires attached,
Sweet little boy who was only half-hatched.

I'm sure you'll grow up to mature and extend,
To six feet six inches and become a tight end,
But I'll always remember each doctor and nurse in
The NICU who helped make you a person,
The kid who crash landed, who was carried away,
Who survived it, this bundle we bring home today.

A Weird Winter

Typically, I get sick once or twice a year. Sinus/respiratory type thing. After suffering for a week or so, I end up at my doctor's office and walking out with a script for a Z-pack.

But, this winter has been different. Either there is something really wrong with me or I keep getting the same/similar cootie bugs. Today, my stomach has been all hinky and I got next to no sleep last night. I was so tired this morning, I was actually afraid to drive Sissy to school, thinking I may start sawing logs at the wheel, so I convinced her that her cough sounded bad and we should both have a day of rest.

Plus, Whooping Cough is going around here...she has had her immunizations, but no need taking chances, huh?

I'm thinking it might be that I have one in Kindergarten this year. We all know how those small fry are just little germ wagons.

Neither of mine ever had an ear infection until they were 4 and in preschool. They have had one each. (knock on wood I'm not jinxing myself here).

Granted, they didn't go to daycare, but I didn't keep them home constantly either. They both had their fair share of dirty toys in their filthy mitts and if I didn't watch close enough, said filthy toy would go straight into their mouth.

Buddy even tried to eat a ladybug once. And, he ate a kibble of cat food, too.

Around here, the old saying is, "You're not a well rounded child until you've eaten a peck of dirt."

Even Sissy is familiar with the "5-second rule", but ONLY AT HOME. If a grape falls off the lunch tray at school....Oh well, that grape is destined for the trash can or perhaps squashed under someone's shoe. Go ask for an extra grape if you're that hungry!

On top of feeling like crud off and on for the last month or so, my lips are so chapped they feel like onion paper and I think I'm getting a bladder infection (I'm a professional when it comes to the UTI, so I know it from a mile away).

Tomorrow is Buddy's birthday - and as usual, I will haul out my yearly story of his early arrival. He will be 14...I'm not old enough to be his mom, in my opinion. He wants to go to Quaker Steak & Lube and is considering trying the 6lb burger challenge. That thing is more than 3.5 times his own birth weight, but my son can put the food away these days.

We like to tease him about it being our own personal episodes of "Buddy Vs. Food". If Adam Richman ever needs a partner in crime, I've got one for him.

Happy Friday, hooligans! I'll see y'all in the morning! (or whenever the hell I feel like it...that's just how I roll.)

Love,